Saturday, 14 September 2019

My Blog Has Moved!

Dear All,

Due to some technical issues, I have had to move my blog to a new address. Whilst this one remains active and all articles previously published may still be found on here, going forward posts will be published at my new blog - All The Rainbow Hues - which you may find at the following address:

Tuesday, 10 September 2019

Downton Abbey the Movie – It's Officially Here!

It seems almost impossible to believe that the Downton Abbey series finished well over three years ago.

It was speculated even before the end of the series, that creator Julian Fellowes would go on to make a film about Downton Abbey and its inhabitants, and both the idea of a prequel and that of a sequel were bandied about.

It turned out to be a sequel at the end of it, and one that picks up right were it left off; around 18 months into the future from the Season 6 Christmas special (also the series finale), from what I can understand. All our best-loved actors are back, in the much-anticipated film, which will reach the UK on September 13th and the US on 20th September, only one week later.

Here’s the gist of what info I have managed to gather about the film up to now:

It’s 1927 and the main plot seems to centre around the fact that the King and Queen have asked to visit Downton Abbey. This will, of course, send the household into a frenzy of preparation and panic. As Mrs. Hughes firmly but gently manages the downstairs into getting ready for the ultimate visit, Lady Mary - now the boss of Downton - requires some help with getting it all done and soon the retired butler Carson is back at Downton Abbey, where he belongs.

Carson’s post, for those who remember, had gone to Thomas Barrow, whose transformation from bad and spiteful to a well-loved and accepted member of the Abbey was one of the series’ sub plots. Barrow did not find love by the end of the sixth season, as can be said also of chauffeur turned family-member Tom Branson. The trailer and initial snippets and info online seem to hint that this time round, it is finally their turn to find love.

What about Lady Edith, the antagonist? It appears she is now not only happily married and a Lady at her husband Pelham’s big estate, but is also a model of modern society of the time and it seems very likely that she and Lady Mary will not be at odds for once. The trailer also sees Mary toying with the idea of maybe leaving Downton. Say what?!! There’ll definitely not be a Downton Abbey 2 in that case!

Meanwhile, a family member who is definitely NOT going anywhere is the beloved Dowager Countess of Grantham. Thankfully, despite initial comments by the actress Maggie Smith, who plays the Dowager, that it wouldn’t really make sense to have her back in a future Downton, the old but sharp Violet Crawley is her witty old self and very present indeed in this new instalment. Her usual side-kick Isobel is also back, and their bickering continues!

Meanwhile, if it is Mary that is heading the preparations, it is still the Lord and Lady Grantham - Robert and Cora - who appear at the forefront to welcome the royal couple. Still together after their trials and tribulations, let’s hope they make it through this movie without any further flirting with outsiders!

Mary’s husband Henry Talbot had too little a role in the sixth season but I rather think this movie might expand a little on his character and role.

So many more characters we know and love are also back, but it would be impossible to name them all. However I must mention new-comer Lady Bagshaw, who is played by Imelda Staunton. Staunton plays the much hated Dolores Umbridge in the Harry Potter films. Ironically, I have seen her in two more films and every time she’s played an aggravating character. Let’s see if we can hate her this time too?

Saturday, 31 August 2019

Home, Memories and Love, Intertwined

Last Saturday was my last day renting the flat-share that I have spoken about at times. To be honest, I am relieved that that part of my life is over, because it is exhausting for an empath like me to share a space with those that are not in my personal life. There are also multiple problems that come about with sharing a space with strangers, but that is a post for another day. Below I am sharing something extremely personal but that I have no qualms about letting out into the world. Because if we LOVE, why shouldn't we say? The news is full of hatred, war, greed. Of bad news. For some reason people don't share the good news do they? Don't admit to being happy, do they? Don't even SEE the happiness and gratitude that's smacking them right in the face. So from now on, Love is not personal. Not the unconditional kind anyway. So here goes, my real deep feelings about parting with the room that's been 'home' for almost a year:

It’s my last day at the flatshare and I have bittersweet feelings about it.

I once wrote a positive blog post about sharing your home with ‘strangers’ and how it helps not only the environment but also with being able to interact with people even whilst living seemingly alone.

Unfortunately however there was much more bad than good to the sharing side, in both flat-shares I rented. I have met needy people who try to butt in for attention, characters I have nothing in common with or that actually cause a bad energy exchange (empaths ‘feel’ other people so they can’t brush this off) and was even harassed multiple times and had my privacy invaded in a bad way by a particular male flatmate.

However this flat was my home since mid October of last year and in the confines of my room with ensuite, if I closed the door to the rest of it, I had found my haven. The first time I walked in there, I walked into a stark room with very basic furniture that lacked any kind of character and left the huge room looking quite empty. There was only a vertical blind on the window onto one of Malta’s busiest streets so that there was not enough darkness except late at night. When I asked the landlord for proper curtains, he proceeded to fix a torn old bedsheet folded in two onto the wall with nails. It made it darker but still not enough, and proceeded to make the room dingier.

And yet I turned that room into a cosy home space that I could have friends over to. A turquoise Indian Spiritual style hanging covered the torn makeshift ‘curtain’ providing not only the darkness I needed for sleep or meditation but also giving me a beautiful focal point for the room.

I added an ottoman for storage under the window and an extra desk to put my dishware on, that served also to hold my laptop right in front of the bed, which served also as my sofa, whenever a friend was over for a movie night. I bought multiple pieces of loose furniture that I could easily incorporate in my new flat and they graced the otherwise drab surroundings, filling the place with colour and texture and making it look less sparse. I put black lace-design plastic containers under the new desk and they housed my preserves and drinks, for lack of comfy cupboard space in the shared kitchen.

However, the real reason I will miss this place are the memories I made and the peace I found the times I managed to shut the rest of it out. I filled the winter with candles and intention, my drawer with magic crystals that I grew to love as much as they love me, and even powerful vivid memories.

That room holds episodes of all kinds from what was possibly the best year of my life. The funny events like warning my twin flame not to get the bed messy with Chinese food (when using chopsticks for the first time) and him still letting the chopsticks fall!; the relaxed, which includes eating fried chicken in bed for breakfast; the best New Year’s Eve celebration to date; a date with a guy I’d been dreaming about for months; snippets from a new relationship that went from ‘ok’ to a disastrous breakup in minutes. Yep, I broke up with someone in that room too!

That room even holds the tainted memory of preparing for a fateful trip last April. A trip that was to teach me something beyond what any school, parent, religion, or other life experience can teach you. A trip I had envisaged for a year, never knowing it would be the beginning of the end, or rather the end of the beginning. The end of the chase, of push and pull energy to get to the love that could only be found inside myself at the end of it.

I have gone on long enough with this entry and turned way personal too. I grew up in an environment where I felt it was taboo to talk about feelings. But now I don’t care any more who knows about how I feel about things. After all, they are MY feelings aren’t they? No one else should be able to take them away from me or convince me to change them. And if anyone doesn’t like the way I am, I am strong enough and have enough self love to smile and let them go (the person not my feelings!)

So I say goodbye to this room, but not to the amazing memories I made in it, to the Love and good energy I filled it up with over the months and after all, the room is gone, but the people close to my heart still remain <3

The turquoise backdrop and I :-)
Curious about my tattoo? Read What is a Twin Flame?

Friday, 30 August 2019

Don't Blame Mothers for the System

There’s a lot of talk about equality, feminism, female brain power and the fact that more women should be in managerial and even political positions. There is even free nursery care for babies set up as of some years ago in order to facilitate working motherhood.

What the country doesn’t have enough of, it seems, is compassion, understanding, and adequate mental care.

It is assumed the new mother will dump her baby at childcare all day long, put in her work hours and then return to a baby as well as maybe other kids needing love and attention and also to household chores.

Some mothers might have worked hard for their career and want to face that, then so be it. However I find that is rarely the case, is it? Having been myself a mother for over nine years now, I can assure you that child-rearing takes a whole lot out of you, and that is even under ‘normal’ circumstances and discounting other complications such as post-natal depression, sleep deprivation and single parenthood among others.

Add to this, even most mothers who do want to further their career would probably prefer to spend a few hours less at work if it were possible in order to bond with their children and see them grow.

So before I hear yet another complaint from people outside the situation blaming ‘mothers nowadays’ for neglecting their children in favour of a day at the office, or wherever ‘work’ may be, let me share with you a little secret: Mothers aren’t purposely leaving children behind to ‘catch up with their career’ or to impress or because they are selfish and want to maintain their previous lifestyle.

Rather, they would like to keep their job and their sanity too, even if it means reducing work hours and making a few sacrifices in the spending department. However, our country is not exactly family friendly most of the time.

I remember very specifically a particular new mother. She was a first time mother like me and we shared the post-natal ward together with our little angels. Hers was only a few hours old and already, her mind turned to work whilst talking to me. Why? Her job was on the line. There she was looking at her new baby and telling me her boss had been adamant that she either return to work full time at the end of what was then only fourteen weeks of maternity leave or she could forget her job.

But that was a few years back, you might argue. So let me talk about a more recent similar case. A friend of mine got a job, loved the company, wasn’t satisfied with her particular job. So she strived to get a better position, got the desired post and excelled at it. Then she got pregnant, gave birth, and returned to said post. Needless to say, it takes being in a situation to fully understand what you have gotten yourself into so she ultimately decided to advise management that although she wanted to stay on, she required reduced hours now that the baby was here. The reduced hours were granted without complaint, but with them came… guess what? A demotion back to the previous post.

Now how fair have both these employees been treated? Imagine if either of them had swotted away till around age twenty-two to get a degree, climbed her way to the top, only to be told she was being pushed off the top of the stairs simply for choosing to make time for motherhood!

So is it really the mothers that are cruelly choosing to pursue full-time careers and leaving motherhood as a side-line job? Or is it the system? I rather think we should be addressing the real cause.

Friday, 23 August 2019

Interview with an Author and two amazing books to check out

Author Amanda Rose
I first met Amanda Rose on one of multiple Law of Attraction groups that are on Facebook. We got chatting and when I said I really struggle with Past Conditioning, she suggested a book I should read. Apparently she had written it herself!

Now usually I don’t like people shoving their own goods and services up my face because who would ever make bad advertising for their own brand, right? However I was at a point where I was struggling so hard with this issue and it seemed the only stumbling block to manifesting the whole of my life as I want it so I thought trying out her book couldn’t hurt after all.

Well it didn’t. Rather, it actually helped me so much in my life, not only with learning exactly how the past conditions us but also with setting my intentions very clearly and even with my gratitude practices that have helped me greatly to achieve a better happier energy, deal with the sh*t that still can happen in my days and to even yes, manifest things and situations more easily through being in the right vibrational frequency thanks to the gratitude overdose.

Here is a short interview with the fabulous author of Manifesting On Purpose and Manifesting Money:

I read that although you grew up with parents who believed in the Law of Attraction, you still needed to find your own way to it as a grown up to make it really work for you. Could you elaborate on that?

My parents were into all things new age, tarot, crystals, meditating, auras, etc. so spirituality was something I was very familiar with. The idea behind Law of Attract, the energy of it, was part of that. My mother loved reading books from people like Louis Hay and Esther & Jeremy Hicks, making those thoughts very prevalent. In my teenage years I struggled with depression and anorexia, a very devastating period of my life mentally and physically. After that going to college, getting into the work space, and the general responsibility of adulthood weighed down on me. I wasn’t making time for spirituality. I had big goals and I was ready to work for them, but internally, my mindset was set for failure.

It took a lot of struggling before I finally turned back to personal development and manifestation for guidance. Once I did, my whole life changed. Within 6 months I manifested over 6-figures and I embarked on a journey of paying it forward, which led to me becoming an author.

From fitness guru, actress, mindset coach to writing books both fiction and non-fiction. So, why writing?

I’ve always written. I wrote my first book when I was 16 (Fire Fury Freedom). I have always been best able to describe my thoughts in words.

Having read both Manifesting on Purpose and Manifesting Money, I can vouch on the credibility of your way of teaching the Law of Attraction. You have a way of helping people get into the right mindset so that from then on, it is all ‘them’. I have myself tried countless times to suggest Gratitude and Belief to people but all they do is brush me off and continue on their neutral or negative course. So what’s your magic?

I think we’re all ready to grow in our own time. If we’re not open to it we’ll push it away and stay stuck. Sometimes it comes from hitting a point of being so frustrated with the same old struggle that we finally make a change, other times a major event, like a near death experience, can wake us up.

On the application side of it, gratitude, visualization, affirmations etc. are great tools, but they aren’t the whole thing. We see people talk about law of attraction only discussing these tools but these only work on the conscious level, but the real work, the real alchemy of it, comes from within our subconscious. What are your core beliefs? They will dictate the results. First work on that, then use the tools.

What’s your elevator pitch to skeptics to give your Manifesting series of books a try?

I’m a naturally curious person, so for me if I’m skeptical I’ll try it to see if it works. We don’t know what we don’t know. I always encourage people to find out for themselves.

Both the above-mentioned books may be easily bought off through the following links:


Monday, 12 August 2019

Presenting a chance to become a Comely and Confident YOU

Only a few years ago, my wardrobe was a mess. My life was a mess. If anyone asked me what I realistically wanted to do with my life, I had no idea. Because when there is clutter around you, you cannot think straight. Every single thing around you takes up brain power when it is within eyesight as does the very thought of the bulging cupboards you don't really wanna have to open! Also, every time you open your wardrobe and think 'I have nothing to wear', you lower your positivity level and add to those little frustrations of life, the ones that add up. Thankfully, I banished the clutter monster from my life and so can you. Through years of research and experimentation on myself and my home, I perfected a method that makes clutter a thing of the past and both myself and my home are a testament that you and your space can truly be Comely and Confident if you wish!

Most often it is people with a zillion outfits sitting in maybe even multiple wardrobes and spilling out of their bedroom that complain they haven't really got anything to wear to the particular occasion. Why? It could be for a multitude of reasons but mostly the result of years of impulse buys, not giving proper thought to what you are actually buying, hoarding 'just in case' outfits or ones that belong to your former self or the 'fantasy' self you aspire to. Add to these those outfits that cost you way too much money to admit you don't really like or want them, the ones with sentimental value, and the fashion must-haves that clearly don't suit your shape, and you end up with a bulging wardrobe that is screaming for the kind of attention you feel you 'don't have time for': the tender loving care to go through it seriously and with an open mind, removing what you don't really want in order to enjoy more that which actually remains.

It is a well-known fact that the majority of people in the first world countries tend to wear 20% of their clothes for 80% of the time. This is, in my opinion, a pure waste of space, of clutter in from of your eyes and of money uselessly spent too. You cannot retrieve money already 'wasted' but you can learn how to avoid any more wastage in the future. Just like you can learn to always buy items that will fit you to a T, never repeat a mistake buy, and even make opening up your wardrobe a joy any time you want to select an outfit, be it to go shopping, a first date or a day in your career. I am not asking you to become Minimalist, though kudos to those that will go there. All I am asking is that you present to the world and most importantly to yourself, a Comely and Confident YOU.

My wardrobe method changed my image, my confidence, my attraction level, as you can see in the pics I am posting below. And I am offering to show you, for only EUR75 for the base session, a way to take my one-on-one course once and never again feel the pain of having to find your style or 'what to wear'.

So click on the link below right now and message me for more details on the Facebook page. I promise you won't regret it:

BEFORE (above) and AFTER (below)

Friday, 9 August 2019

Plan B? No Way!

Many people have a Plan B. It is somehow considered a survival skill I guess. If you don’t succeed at something, then try something else. If you are unable to get your hands on something, then buy its substitute. If chicken’s not on the menu, you might want to try the fish.

You might be arguing that of course it is a good thing to have a Plan B! Things after all don’t always go as planned and a Plan B is better than no plan at all. However I am not saying that you should have ‘no plan at all’. Rather, I’m saying ‘Don’t have a Plan B.’

Why B? It is your secondary choice. The one you would very well give up if only you could get your Plan A to work. So truly, your B can never bring as much joy, freedom, or whatever else you are looking for, as your A. Your B will never be more than just ‘good enough’.

So how about having multiple Plan As instead? Alternate Plans that will do just as well and no less than your original one?

Sam Claflin once said that acting was his Plan B. After all, his primary dream was to become a professional football player. Circumstances (in this case a broken ankle) dictated that Plan A was not on the cards any more, however hard he wanted it to be. But honestly, I would never call his plan to pursue drama a Plan B, because he puts so much zest, energy, caring, gym hours and immersive research, into his roles that I am sure he is having a blast doing it. So I guess his was another Plan A after all?

Always have a plan. Or two, or a hundred. But always ensure to have all your Plan As at the ready. NEVER, and I mean NEVER settle for a Plan B, which is telling your mind outright that it is not what you wanted it to B.

Friday, 2 August 2019

Only Positive Allowed

I could have named my post ‘No Negative Allowed’ but that in itself would be negative wouldn’t it? Because although I would be saying the same thing in essence, one will bring about a feeling of wellness and the other has connotations of ill. This is something the human mind does on auto-pilot unless the human is aware of it and purposely stops their thoughts mid-stream when they are about to cause a negative vibration/emotion.

What am I on about today and what brought this on? Just like everyone else, I have a Facebook profile. Granted I have only maybe a couple hundred friends on it that I am always editing but still, those two-hundred-or-so ‘Friends’ all have their own life, opinions, hobbies, even issues they hold close to heart. As a result my Notifications list suggests a variety of things I should do from ‘Help fund the ocean clean-up.’ to ‘Save the trees!’ and ‘No to excessive population.’

The first example I made requests the Facebooker to fork out money so I will not be going into the merits or disadvantages of the constant bombardment of ‘fund this/fund that’ all around us as it is subjective not only to said person agreeing with the campaign but also tackles a money or lack of issue.

However the other two notifications I mentioned both tackle, in a way, an environmental issue as well as a standard of living one. This is not about going into whether I agree or not with these stances and what is being done to rectify the situations but rather about the idea of Facebook, and the internet in general really, being used to get such messages across and the purpose of uniting as one front on certain issues.

I want to save the trees. Of course I want to! I mean, what’s the point of NOT wanting to? I would very easily ‘Like’ the initiative, maybe even check what helping save the trees entails. On the other hand, I am afraid one of my new personal rules dictates I will not be joining ‘No to excessive population.’ groups or pages. Why? Because they are stating the negative as happening.

Now I believe in the Law of Attraction. I see it working around me every day, all the time, so what’s not to believe? However let’s say you actually don’t believe and don’t want to believe in it. The point remains the same, that if you’re going to start off with a negative stance like ‘overpopulation’ then the mind, yours and of whoever set up the group and that of all the others who joined, is dwelling on the negative idea that there IS overpopulation rather than being productive and constructive in finding a way to avoid it. When one starts with the negative, it is infinitely more difficult to turn it into the positive and correct me if I am wrong but the whole point of the initiative is to better the situation to begin with, right? Not to dwell on the bad and harp on the bad and sit around blaming whoever did the bad? All you are doing by stating a negative fact, is to accept it as is and therefore let it become the accepted norm.

The human mind is as helpful as it is a hindrance in life. It tends to dwell on fears, ones that are unfounded at times, rather than letting us be free to experience life. It will feed the ego and in a way IS the ego, hoping we are asleep enough to the real truth and world around us to accept it as our absolute ruler all the time. Well in actual fact, there are neurones in the heart too, powerful ones, that are more likely than those of the mind to attract to us the most amazing life if we so choose. Let your mind work out your change at the supermarket, let it figure out your work timetable and getting from A to B. But NEVER, and I mean NEVER, let it control your emotional thoughts. Just like the newscaster on TV and the journalist of the most widespread newspapers, it thrives on giving you the negative, the toxic, the emotions that keep you from feeling free. So let’s strive to find solutions instead of dwelling on the ‘what is’.

Monday, 29 July 2019

Book Review: The Year that Changed Everything

Three women living completely separate lives celebrate important birthdays on the same day. As Ginger faces a wedding from hell on her thirtieth birthday, Sam has just delivered her long-awaited baby on her fortieth and Callie’s life turns upside down mid lavish party on her fiftieth. All of them go through a year that justifies the novel’s title The Year That Changed Everything, by writer Cathy Kelly.

One year is actually a pretty tight timeline in which to cover the diverse number of issues that Kelly’s characters encounter. Themes such as infertility and post-natal depression, growing up without a mother, self-consciousness, hoarding, addiction, a narcissistic spouse and over-due reconciliations are all on the agenda in this strictly commercial story; one that hinges on the idea of the three protagonists becoming stronger women by the end of it.

The book received mostly good to glowing reviews by readers but from an author’s point of view I have to say that it was too formulaic as well as lacking that edge. It flits from one woman’s tale to the next as well as between timelines, in a bid to keep the reader abreast of all the storylines at once. Whilst this technique worked well in The Girl on the Train (Paula Hawkins) and even The Girl Before (JP Delaney), here it suffered from a lack of knowledge on how to handle what turns into an extreme switching game, taking us on a dizzy ride that stopped the flow any time it was picking up. Speaking of ‘picking up’, the lack of cliffhangers and constant to and fro don’t make for a book you look to pick up and continue.

I do feel the author gave enough background for each story to function properly as well as stand in its own right. In fact, despite running parallel to each other, the stories only converge at the end.  This, together with some very unexpected twists and turns, is what scores the book some points. However the characters themselves are at times almost stereotypical and yet not exactly believable. I wonder at the speed with which Callie’s daughter switches mindset about the life situation they find themselves in, just as I wonder would a real mother act like Callie’s after so many years of no-contact. Ginger meanwhile, seems to me to be two totally different characters at different times, much as though the author did not really decide beforehand whether she is a tough cookie or not beneath it all. In fact, main character Sam and her sister Joanne seem to be the best-constructed of the lot, with Sam’s loved-up husband and her doting dad rounding up the acceptable cast.

This book screams chick lit through and through. It makes an interesting story when you’re up for a light read but I would never class it as re-readable. So enjoy it for what it is: a story with a fairytale ending, that roots for females who stick up for each other and makes one feel that in life, perception is the key to happiness. After all, the author may have gotten that part right.

This book was kindly provided by Agenda Book Shop.

Thursday, 25 July 2019

What is a Twin Flame?

I have been asked this question so many times that by the end of it my reply grew always longer and more elaborate and turned into a whole essay about the subject (which I still think is not enough really to explain the totality of the phenomenon).

Some people believe in them, others don't. Some believe without having met theirs and others don't believe simply because they haven't met theirs. The ones who have met their twin flames could never go back from believing that their twin could be anyone but a twin flame. Because truly, it will feel extraordinarily different to be with them than to interact with any other human being in the world so there is no way you won't 'know' that this is a special bond once you start what is usually more of a non-relationship than a relationship. The twin flame is the one and only, the biggest revealer of all your insecurities and the biggest love you can ever have, a love that transcends time and space. They are your mirror, so that anything that upsets you in them you will easily trace back to the way you treat yourself and any self-growth and soul-growth you go through you will see mirrored in them even when the two of you are apart. The Twin Flame will bring you peace and depression both, if you are not yet in a place in your life where you feel you are secure. However I can tell you that I would never have it any other way and that even should my Twin Flame and I not reunite in this lifetime, my unconditional love for him would always remain. It takes a lot for me to commit to anything, it is one of my spiritual blocks that I am working on in fact, and as a start to overcoming that what better way than to tattoo the Twin Flames symbol invented by St Germain on my skin, a commitment for life.

Here is the gist of What is a Twin Flame?:

At the very beginning, God split each soul into two - the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine. We are all of us just one part of those two (either very feminine with a tiny bit of masculine or vice versa). Each of the two halves goes to earth and embodies a human, one lifetime after another. The pact is that the two halves eventually will reunite. When they do, they will mirror all your good and all your bad till both of you will start this 'game' of running from the other due to all the fears and doubts else chasing them obsessively as they will feel like ‘home' (which makes the other run more). Most of the time, both twins are chaser and runner at different times in the ‘non-relationship’. They will usually appear in your life at a time of great need to teach you your lessons and to help you find God.

If in the particular lifetime, the twins not only meet but manage to stop the on/off relationship by learning all their lessons and coming into union is when they will use their time on this earth to complete their missions, preferably by each other's side, and eventually when they leave this world they ascend together to heaven as one. The twins don't reincarnate at the same time, or not in the same place or not of the same race a lot of the time. They will face their perfect other half and yet feel that due to society etc they have hurdles to be together. (For example the Divine Masculine being much younger than the Divine Feminine and therefore in a totally different kind of lifestyle etc). It is scarily true that every complaint you will find in your twin’s character you may trace back to yourself once you try and once a twin ‘fixes’ a bad trait then both will stop doing it. Twins are telepathic but even unconsciously mirror life.

When you meet your twin even if you know nothing of this, you will somehow feel this explosion within you, this amazing euphoria that comes from a happiness of being whole again. Hence the chase whenever one runs or vice versa. But the union only happens once you stop relying on your twin for happiness and find it within. It is known that twins once they find each other will never feel complete without the other and try as they might to keep any karmic/soulmate relationship going, they will eventually move on to the twin permanently. Twin flames share one energy - a big magnetic energy - which is probably part of why they feel better when with the other I guess too.

Friday, 19 July 2019

The 'Like Attracts Like' Effect on Relationships

I have been asked by multiple male acquaintances do I have any single female friend for them to date. Now this question in itself boggles my mind. I can’t for the life of me understand how someone would go on, say, a blind date, else date someone purely based on a photo and a reference from a friend. Yeah, I know not everyone is demisexual and most people seem to have no problem sleeping with the opposite sex just for a ‘good time’. That said, it is quite a shot in the dark to assume that a date could potentially work with someone you didn’t have some kind of previous communication with. After all, photos lie and I have realised that most of the time actually even messages do. Add to this, what exactly are the odds that I have one female friend who is single and available and she turns out to be a match at all?

It irritates me any time someone asks me the question, not only because I cannot fathom how they are ready to take such a gamble, but also because it makes them seem needy.

I might be sounding offensive at this point. I have heard all kinds of excuses for this desperation but at the end of it, if a man (or woman really) is at a point that they are willing to ask a third party to hook them up with a random date, then I can’t see that it is a very healthy start to any kind of relationship, not even the friends-with-benefits kind!

Any relationship is doomed for either failure or, even worse, toxicity, if it is built on a ‘need’ rather than an honest ‘want’. Add to this, whether you believe in the Law of Attraction or no, the base of it still applies to all that is so that truly, you will always attract what you yourself are. Let’s put it in practical terms:

How many well-put-together, successful, self-loving, females are looking to date someone based on anything other than a mutual attraction? They would rather be alone than accept any pity date. The woman who accepts to be ‘hooked up’ is no female that is secure in herself so as I said, like will attract like and should she say 'ok', the relationship will, however basic or sex-inclined even, be based on a mutual neediness and loneliness rather than a pure passion to be together.

Many relationships are unfortunately the co-dependant type. This phrase used to confuse me before because I believed that usually it is only one person that is relying on their partner too totally rather than that both of them are because one has to be the strong support of the other, right? Not really.

Let’s say one of the partners is obsessing over their new ‘love interest’. By obsessing I do not mean that you can’t get their beautiful face out of your head or that you are wrong in smiling all day long when you think of them, I actually mean that you start basing all your energies into the new relationship therefore slacking in your own life. This is an ego boost to a needy partner but the self-assured man or woman would take this as a warning sign to back off from this new relationship.

No one likes being chased. Say what? What I am stating is the total opposite of what is considered a ‘romantic’ courtship! Of course everyone loves being chased after all! Well it depends on the chasing though doesn’t it? I was over the moon to receive an unexpected text from someone I liked. I was very unamused when someone made the unprofessional choice of asking for my number presumably for an order I made at the shop where he worked, only to get multiple texts a day from him on a personal level. Honestly, which of the two guys would I be willing to date? I think it rather obvious!

So given you will always attract the person you ‘deserve’, why not make it a good healthy relationship by Loving Yourself First?

Friday, 12 July 2019

You Owe It To 'You' To Love Yourself - Includes Links to Self-Love Meditation.

I am back to being a full-time mum as of two Sundays ago. I missed my son terribly and we are now settling into our new home together wonderfully (erm... unless I count the tantrums!) but I wouldn't be realistic if I said having a child to care for doesn't always add more work.

I am still out of employment though I am working on multiple projects that I am turning into my dream jobs (yeah there are two separate careers I am working on, both equally interesting to me). In addition to that, I am still facing salespersons, deliverymen, complaints (from my end) and workmen at the new flat.

So all in all, with caring for the little man as well as acting as project manager for the flat, cleaning up the place and unpacking more boxes in addition to the projects that I still regard as 'work' given they take up time and concentration, I seem to now need more meditation time and time to 'just be' than I ever did in the past year.

I have tried guided meditation by different YouTubers for various needs and I could kick myself for now not remembering which one I had used when I needed to get over a heartbreak as I remember that one being totally fantastic and soothing and I would have liked to share it on here.

There are two self-love guided meditation YouTube videos that I have used to amazing results whenever I was in need to realign myself and get into a positive, happy, fulfilled energy. They both of them state to use for attracting either a particular partner or a soulmate but I can guarantee you can use them just as effectively to work on yourself, especially as they both deal with upping your own sense of self in order to align you with what you want. Both meditations I am linking below are by vloggers that I have huge respect for because they really resonate with me and I am able to easily understand their videos. They are also both practitioners of the Law of Attraction and this is very evident in their wording in the guided meditation videos.

You might say 'I don't follow Law of Attraction' or 'The Law of Attraction is all bullshit' which is fine by me though I will beg to disagree. However whether you believe in LoA or not, I am sure no one is against boosting their happiness in whatever way they can so you can always disregard the vlogger's personal views and concentrate instead on your happiness. There is nothing in either of the two videos that instil anything but love and a positive sense of self so there is no harm in trying them out, right?

This is starting to sound like a paid advert, which not only it isn't, but I actually refuse paid work that is to do with marketing and advertising most of the time due to my beliefs. Therefore feel free NOT to click on the links, which I am sharing here below for anyone that is willing to give bettering their life a shot. However good your life is, you can always strive to make it better.

The first link is to a video by Eric Ho, entrepreneur and international speaker. Eric's videos are truly inspirational and have helped me so much in my life, not only with his LoA advice but even more practical things such as business tips. However this one, which I had found linked on another of his videos, is actually a big booster to learning to love yourself in a good way (not egocentric).

The next link is to a video by Aaron Doughty, also dealing with self-love meditation, but is in my opinion for more advanced meditation. Even though I meditate and use affirmations every day, I still find Aaron's guided meditation heavy and sometimes more difficult to totally get into. However, being less basic than Eric Ho's Affirmations Meditation, it can transport you to a place of total relaxation and a place where you can actually listen to your heart. After all, even the biggest scientists got their eureka moments whilst in a state of relaxation.

The titles of both videos mention attracting other people but once you start the videos you will find they will concentrate on your own self and aligning that to love rather than making it about the other person at all.