Saturday, 31 August 2019

Home, Memories and Love, Intertwined

Last Saturday was my last day renting the flat-share that I have spoken about at times. To be honest, I am relieved that that part of my life is over, because it is exhausting for an empath like me to share a space with those that are not in my personal life. There are also multiple problems that come about with sharing a space with strangers, but that is a post for another day. Below I am sharing something extremely personal but that I have no qualms about letting out into the world. Because if we LOVE, why shouldn't we say? The news is full of hatred, war, greed. Of bad news. For some reason people don't share the good news do they? Don't admit to being happy, do they? Don't even SEE the happiness and gratitude that's smacking them right in the face. So from now on, Love is not personal. Not the unconditional kind anyway. So here goes, my real deep feelings about parting with the room that's been 'home' for almost a year:

It’s my last day at the flatshare and I have bittersweet feelings about it.

I once wrote a positive blog post about sharing your home with ‘strangers’ and how it helps not only the environment but also with being able to interact with people even whilst living seemingly alone.

Unfortunately however there was much more bad than good to the sharing side, in both flat-shares I rented. I have met needy people who try to butt in for attention, characters I have nothing in common with or that actually cause a bad energy exchange (empaths ‘feel’ other people so they can’t brush this off) and was even harassed multiple times and had my privacy invaded in a bad way by a particular male flatmate.

However this flat was my home since mid October of last year and in the confines of my room with ensuite, if I closed the door to the rest of it, I had found my haven. The first time I walked in there, I walked into a stark room with very basic furniture that lacked any kind of character and left the huge room looking quite empty. There was only a vertical blind on the window onto one of Malta’s busiest streets so that there was not enough darkness except late at night. When I asked the landlord for proper curtains, he proceeded to fix a torn old bedsheet folded in two onto the wall with nails. It made it darker but still not enough, and proceeded to make the room dingier.

And yet I turned that room into a cosy home space that I could have friends over to. A turquoise Indian Spiritual style hanging covered the torn makeshift ‘curtain’ providing not only the darkness I needed for sleep or meditation but also giving me a beautiful focal point for the room.

I added an ottoman for storage under the window and an extra desk to put my dishware on, that served also to hold my laptop right in front of the bed, which served also as my sofa, whenever a friend was over for a movie night. I bought multiple pieces of loose furniture that I could easily incorporate in my new flat and they graced the otherwise drab surroundings, filling the place with colour and texture and making it look less sparse. I put black lace-design plastic containers under the new desk and they housed my preserves and drinks, for lack of comfy cupboard space in the shared kitchen.

However, the real reason I will miss this place are the memories I made and the peace I found the times I managed to shut the rest of it out. I filled the winter with candles and intention, my drawer with magic crystals that I grew to love as much as they love me, and even powerful vivid memories.

That room holds episodes of all kinds from what was possibly the best year of my life. The funny events like warning my twin flame not to get the bed messy with Chinese food (when using chopsticks for the first time) and him still letting the chopsticks fall!; the relaxed, which includes eating fried chicken in bed for breakfast; the best New Year’s Eve celebration to date; a date with a guy I’d been dreaming about for months; snippets from a new relationship that went from ‘ok’ to a disastrous breakup in minutes. Yep, I broke up with someone in that room too!

That room even holds the tainted memory of preparing for a fateful trip last April. A trip that was to teach me something beyond what any school, parent, religion, or other life experience can teach you. A trip I had envisaged for a year, never knowing it would be the beginning of the end, or rather the end of the beginning. The end of the chase, of push and pull energy to get to the love that could only be found inside myself at the end of it.

I have gone on long enough with this entry and turned way personal too. I grew up in an environment where I felt it was taboo to talk about feelings. But now I don’t care any more who knows about how I feel about things. After all, they are MY feelings aren’t they? No one else should be able to take them away from me or convince me to change them. And if anyone doesn’t like the way I am, I am strong enough and have enough self love to smile and let them go (the person not my feelings!)

So I say goodbye to this room, but not to the amazing memories I made in it, to the Love and good energy I filled it up with over the months and after all, the room is gone, but the people close to my heart still remain <3

The turquoise backdrop and I :-)
Curious about my tattoo? Read What is a Twin Flame?

Friday, 30 August 2019

Don't Blame Mothers for the System

There’s a lot of talk about equality, feminism, female brain power and the fact that more women should be in managerial and even political positions. There is even free nursery care for babies set up as of some years ago in order to facilitate working motherhood.

What the country doesn’t have enough of, it seems, is compassion, understanding, and adequate mental care.

It is assumed the new mother will dump her baby at childcare all day long, put in her work hours and then return to a baby as well as maybe other kids needing love and attention and also to household chores.

Some mothers might have worked hard for their career and want to face that, then so be it. However I find that is rarely the case, is it? Having been myself a mother for over nine years now, I can assure you that child-rearing takes a whole lot out of you, and that is even under ‘normal’ circumstances and discounting other complications such as post-natal depression, sleep deprivation and single parenthood among others.

Add to this, even most mothers who do want to further their career would probably prefer to spend a few hours less at work if it were possible in order to bond with their children and see them grow.

So before I hear yet another complaint from people outside the situation blaming ‘mothers nowadays’ for neglecting their children in favour of a day at the office, or wherever ‘work’ may be, let me share with you a little secret: Mothers aren’t purposely leaving children behind to ‘catch up with their career’ or to impress or because they are selfish and want to maintain their previous lifestyle.

Rather, they would like to keep their job and their sanity too, even if it means reducing work hours and making a few sacrifices in the spending department. However, our country is not exactly family friendly most of the time.

I remember very specifically a particular new mother. She was a first time mother like me and we shared the post-natal ward together with our little angels. Hers was only a few hours old and already, her mind turned to work whilst talking to me. Why? Her job was on the line. There she was looking at her new baby and telling me her boss had been adamant that she either return to work full time at the end of what was then only fourteen weeks of maternity leave or she could forget her job.

But that was a few years back, you might argue. So let me talk about a more recent similar case. A friend of mine got a job, loved the company, wasn’t satisfied with her particular job. So she strived to get a better position, got the desired post and excelled at it. Then she got pregnant, gave birth, and returned to said post. Needless to say, it takes being in a situation to fully understand what you have gotten yourself into so she ultimately decided to advise management that although she wanted to stay on, she required reduced hours now that the baby was here. The reduced hours were granted without complaint, but with them came… guess what? A demotion back to the previous post.

Now how fair have both these employees been treated? Imagine if either of them had swotted away till around age twenty-two to get a degree, climbed her way to the top, only to be told she was being pushed off the top of the stairs simply for choosing to make time for motherhood!

So is it really the mothers that are cruelly choosing to pursue full-time careers and leaving motherhood as a side-line job? Or is it the system? I rather think we should be addressing the real cause.

Friday, 23 August 2019

Interview with an Author and two amazing books to check out

Author Amanda Rose
I first met Amanda Rose on one of multiple Law of Attraction groups that are on Facebook. We got chatting and when I said I really struggle with Past Conditioning, she suggested a book I should read. Apparently she had written it herself!

Now usually I don’t like people shoving their own goods and services up my face because who would ever make bad advertising for their own brand, right? However I was at a point where I was struggling so hard with this issue and it seemed the only stumbling block to manifesting the whole of my life as I want it so I thought trying out her book couldn’t hurt after all.

Well it didn’t. Rather, it actually helped me so much in my life, not only with learning exactly how the past conditions us but also with setting my intentions very clearly and even with my gratitude practices that have helped me greatly to achieve a better happier energy, deal with the sh*t that still can happen in my days and to even yes, manifest things and situations more easily through being in the right vibrational frequency thanks to the gratitude overdose.



Here is a short interview with the fabulous author of Manifesting On Purpose and Manifesting Money:

I read that although you grew up with parents who believed in the Law of Attraction, you still needed to find your own way to it as a grown up to make it really work for you. Could you elaborate on that?

My parents were into all things new age, tarot, crystals, meditating, auras, etc. so spirituality was something I was very familiar with. The idea behind Law of Attract, the energy of it, was part of that. My mother loved reading books from people like Louis Hay and Esther & Jeremy Hicks, making those thoughts very prevalent. In my teenage years I struggled with depression and anorexia, a very devastating period of my life mentally and physically. After that going to college, getting into the work space, and the general responsibility of adulthood weighed down on me. I wasn’t making time for spirituality. I had big goals and I was ready to work for them, but internally, my mindset was set for failure.

It took a lot of struggling before I finally turned back to personal development and manifestation for guidance. Once I did, my whole life changed. Within 6 months I manifested over 6-figures and I embarked on a journey of paying it forward, which led to me becoming an author.

From fitness guru, actress, mindset coach to writing books both fiction and non-fiction. So, why writing?

I’ve always written. I wrote my first book when I was 16 (Fire Fury Freedom). I have always been best able to describe my thoughts in words.

Having read both Manifesting on Purpose and Manifesting Money, I can vouch on the credibility of your way of teaching the Law of Attraction. You have a way of helping people get into the right mindset so that from then on, it is all ‘them’. I have myself tried countless times to suggest Gratitude and Belief to people but all they do is brush me off and continue on their neutral or negative course. So what’s your magic?

I think we’re all ready to grow in our own time. If we’re not open to it we’ll push it away and stay stuck. Sometimes it comes from hitting a point of being so frustrated with the same old struggle that we finally make a change, other times a major event, like a near death experience, can wake us up.

On the application side of it, gratitude, visualization, affirmations etc. are great tools, but they aren’t the whole thing. We see people talk about law of attraction only discussing these tools but these only work on the conscious level, but the real work, the real alchemy of it, comes from within our subconscious. What are your core beliefs? They will dictate the results. First work on that, then use the tools.

What’s your elevator pitch to skeptics to give your Manifesting series of books a try?

I’m a naturally curious person, so for me if I’m skeptical I’ll try it to see if it works. We don’t know what we don’t know. I always encourage people to find out for themselves.


Both the above-mentioned books may be easily bought off Amazon.co.uk through the following links:


                           

Monday, 12 August 2019

Presenting a chance to become a Comely and Confident YOU

Only a few years ago, my wardrobe was a mess. My life was a mess. If anyone asked me what I realistically wanted to do with my life, I had no idea. Because when there is clutter around you, you cannot think straight. Every single thing around you takes up brain power when it is within eyesight as does the very thought of the bulging cupboards you don't really wanna have to open! Also, every time you open your wardrobe and think 'I have nothing to wear', you lower your positivity level and add to those little frustrations of life, the ones that add up. Thankfully, I banished the clutter monster from my life and so can you. Through years of research and experimentation on myself and my home, I perfected a method that makes clutter a thing of the past and both myself and my home are a testament that you and your space can truly be Comely and Confident if you wish!

Most often it is people with a zillion outfits sitting in maybe even multiple wardrobes and spilling out of their bedroom that complain they haven't really got anything to wear to the particular occasion. Why? It could be for a multitude of reasons but mostly the result of years of impulse buys, not giving proper thought to what you are actually buying, hoarding 'just in case' outfits or ones that belong to your former self or the 'fantasy' self you aspire to. Add to these those outfits that cost you way too much money to admit you don't really like or want them, the ones with sentimental value, and the fashion must-haves that clearly don't suit your shape, and you end up with a bulging wardrobe that is screaming for the kind of attention you feel you 'don't have time for': the tender loving care to go through it seriously and with an open mind, removing what you don't really want in order to enjoy more that which actually remains.

It is a well-known fact that the majority of people in the first world countries tend to wear 20% of their clothes for 80% of the time. This is, in my opinion, a pure waste of space, of clutter in from of your eyes and of money uselessly spent too. You cannot retrieve money already 'wasted' but you can learn how to avoid any more wastage in the future. Just like you can learn to always buy items that will fit you to a T, never repeat a mistake buy, and even make opening up your wardrobe a joy any time you want to select an outfit, be it to go shopping, a first date or a day in your career. I am not asking you to become Minimalist, though kudos to those that will go there. All I am asking is that you present to the world and most importantly to yourself, a Comely and Confident YOU.

My wardrobe method changed my image, my confidence, my attraction level, as you can see in the pics I am posting below. And I am offering to show you, for only EUR75 for the base session, a way to take my one-on-one course once and never again feel the pain of having to find your style or 'what to wear'.

So click on the link below right now and message me for more details on the Facebook page. I promise you won't regret it:


BEFORE (above) and AFTER (below)


Friday, 9 August 2019

Plan B? No Way!

Many people have a Plan B. It is somehow considered a survival skill I guess. If you don’t succeed at something, then try something else. If you are unable to get your hands on something, then buy its substitute. If chicken’s not on the menu, you might want to try the fish.

You might be arguing that of course it is a good thing to have a Plan B! Things after all don’t always go as planned and a Plan B is better than no plan at all. However I am not saying that you should have ‘no plan at all’. Rather, I’m saying ‘Don’t have a Plan B.’

Why B? It is your secondary choice. The one you would very well give up if only you could get your Plan A to work. So truly, your B can never bring as much joy, freedom, or whatever else you are looking for, as your A. Your B will never be more than just ‘good enough’.

So how about having multiple Plan As instead? Alternate Plans that will do just as well and no less than your original one?

Sam Claflin once said that acting was his Plan B. After all, his primary dream was to become a professional football player. Circumstances (in this case a broken ankle) dictated that Plan A was not on the cards any more, however hard he wanted it to be. But honestly, I would never call his plan to pursue drama a Plan B, because he puts so much zest, energy, caring, gym hours and immersive research, into his roles that I am sure he is having a blast doing it. So I guess his was another Plan A after all?

Always have a plan. Or two, or a hundred. But always ensure to have all your Plan As at the ready. NEVER, and I mean NEVER settle for a Plan B, which is telling your mind outright that it is not what you wanted it to B.


Friday, 2 August 2019

Only Positive Allowed

I could have named my post ‘No Negative Allowed’ but that in itself would be negative wouldn’t it? Because although I would be saying the same thing in essence, one will bring about a feeling of wellness and the other has connotations of ill. This is something the human mind does on auto-pilot unless the human is aware of it and purposely stops their thoughts mid-stream when they are about to cause a negative vibration/emotion.

What am I on about today and what brought this on? Just like everyone else, I have a Facebook profile. Granted I have only maybe a couple hundred friends on it that I am always editing but still, those two-hundred-or-so ‘Friends’ all have their own life, opinions, hobbies, even issues they hold close to heart. As a result my Notifications list suggests a variety of things I should do from ‘Help fund the ocean clean-up.’ to ‘Save the trees!’ and ‘No to excessive population.’

The first example I made requests the Facebooker to fork out money so I will not be going into the merits or disadvantages of the constant bombardment of ‘fund this/fund that’ all around us as it is subjective not only to said person agreeing with the campaign but also tackles a money or lack of issue.

However the other two notifications I mentioned both tackle, in a way, an environmental issue as well as a standard of living one. This is not about going into whether I agree or not with these stances and what is being done to rectify the situations but rather about the idea of Facebook, and the internet in general really, being used to get such messages across and the purpose of uniting as one front on certain issues.

I want to save the trees. Of course I want to! I mean, what’s the point of NOT wanting to? I would very easily ‘Like’ the initiative, maybe even check what helping save the trees entails. On the other hand, I am afraid one of my new personal rules dictates I will not be joining ‘No to excessive population.’ groups or pages. Why? Because they are stating the negative as happening.

Now I believe in the Law of Attraction. I see it working around me every day, all the time, so what’s not to believe? However let’s say you actually don’t believe and don’t want to believe in it. The point remains the same, that if you’re going to start off with a negative stance like ‘overpopulation’ then the mind, yours and of whoever set up the group and that of all the others who joined, is dwelling on the negative idea that there IS overpopulation rather than being productive and constructive in finding a way to avoid it. When one starts with the negative, it is infinitely more difficult to turn it into the positive and correct me if I am wrong but the whole point of the initiative is to better the situation to begin with, right? Not to dwell on the bad and harp on the bad and sit around blaming whoever did the bad? All you are doing by stating a negative fact, is to accept it as is and therefore let it become the accepted norm.

The human mind is as helpful as it is a hindrance in life. It tends to dwell on fears, ones that are unfounded at times, rather than letting us be free to experience life. It will feed the ego and in a way IS the ego, hoping we are asleep enough to the real truth and world around us to accept it as our absolute ruler all the time. Well in actual fact, there are neurones in the heart too, powerful ones, that are more likely than those of the mind to attract to us the most amazing life if we so choose. Let your mind work out your change at the supermarket, let it figure out your work timetable and getting from A to B. But NEVER, and I mean NEVER, let it control your emotional thoughts. Just like the newscaster on TV and the journalist of the most widespread newspapers, it thrives on giving you the negative, the toxic, the emotions that keep you from feeling free. So let’s strive to find solutions instead of dwelling on the ‘what is’.