Saturday, 29 September 2018

Goodbye Toxic Friendships

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Sometimes we let people into our life thinking they are good for us. They might have done us one good deed or helped us through some difficult decisions and now we feel indebted to them. Yes, they might have entered our lives in the guise of the hero/heroine.

Then one day, out of the blue, they unexpectedly upset us. We try to brush it off and soldier on with the friendship and find ourselves constantly having to ‘bear with’ the other person’s inability to be anything but insensitive to who we are. A friendship after all is a relationship even though not a romantic one and it is important for both partners to be respectful of the other and understanding rather than constantly trying to make the other person feel inadequate.

It has happened to me many times in various situations and phases of my life. I used to blame it on change of interests, goals or life situations that ultimately leave the friendship with nothing to bond over. However I then came to realize that some friends do remain and are always there to support and make you feel like a welcome part of their life even when they do not in fact have any hobbies or life situations that reflect your own. Whilst I am talking from my own point of view, I am also indirectly referring to the mirror image of the same friendship and therefore the other person’s viewpoint. After all, it has got to be two-way to work.

So I have come to the conclusion that when so-called friends are always too busy to keep in touch when I ask else not even try to make contact at all, it is maybe time to move on and let them be. In these cases, I rather they become happy memories from the past than chance their lack of interest turn to bitterness at the situation on my part.

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In some cases, rather than fade into the distance, some people have gone the other extreme, openly blaming me for everything from declining a date with their brother to nursing my own problems when I was at a low point rather than trying to take on their own. Incidentally these are the friends who usually impose rather than suggest their own ideas and refuse to accept the person that I am. There was a time when I would have questioned my actions big and small, simply because I was being blamed for them. Now instead I have the guts to walk away from people who make always negative observations simply because I cannot fathom why they would even want to be friends if my character is all 'bad'.

So whether the friendship has lasted a year or two decades, it is always important to know and feel that it is a good and not bad aura that surrounds it. I only learnt the hard way that a friendship of twenty-two years was very easily undone through trying to share with said friend an article or event of interest to her on Facebook messenger, only to find myself blocked for not conforming to her 'norms'.

Saturday, 22 September 2018

I Had A Dream...

Last night I had a dream. In the dream I literally pulled every single item I own out of its
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home or hiding place and started trashing most of what there was.

Somehow, after going through the sensation of letting go in my mind, I itched to try it out for real. Suddenly even the box behind my bedroom door, full of books waiting for someone to buy them, changed image in my head. Previously regarded as money to be made, suddenly they became books sitting heavy on my mind, an unwanted full box on the floor of my room. The books themselves were a mix of half-read and unimpressive and previously treasured titles that I would never before have thought of parting with. Now I want it all gone.

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Considering the lightness I felt in my step in the dream as I sifted through all my belongings choosing to part with most of them, I think it is actually time to keep only what I love or need, there is no place for maybes in my life. I started out this post talking about material items and yet the same mindset applies also to other facets of life. Be it long expired friendships that bog me down for thinking about them, letting go of commitments I don't want or need and even memories I would like forgotten, I will be able in the end to find more peace and time for the real treasures in my life.

Saturday, 15 September 2018

Too Many Friends = Too Hectic Trip

This week an advert from a local travel agency came up on my Facebook feed. They are giving away a set of five free flights to London. I was feeling lucky, it is a destination I was anyway thinking of buying a ticket to and I had nothing to lose. Or almost nothing. The competition requested tagging four friends I would take with me if I won (well it was a trip for 5 after all). Funny thing is, not only did I not feel I had four friends I wanted to tag, let alone together. I didn’t feel it would be a holiday at all if I had to make the trip with four friends. One close friend, maybe, two a little more iffy. But four! That sounds like relaxation suicide to me.

Pre marital-separation, I used to have a friend who was hyper. One time, when my ex-husband and I were planning a holiday, he decided to invite her and her husband along. The look of horror on my face would have said it all to anyone actually in tune to me as a person. Why? Because I was definitely not planning a Quad bike excursion, multiple trips to the pool or evenings out on the town. The whole point of a holiday was, to me, the luxury of not waking up to an alarm clock, not make definite plans and definitely not exhaust myself trying to do it all. Maybe that is why I am very selective about which friends I would ever agree to go on a trip with.
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Don’t get me wrong. I don’t pay a flight intending to veg in the sun. I actually get too much of the sun and beach here in Malta so not even Hawaii sounds exciting. If anything, a hyggae cabin in the mountains with a burning fireplace and snow falling steadily outside sounds much more ‘me’. However I am also willing to go on adventures, learn new languages, look around for art and well even do a bit of shopping should I visit any big city. So truly, I am quite a versatile person and always willing to try new things. I just hate getting bogged down by the ‘let’s ensure to do it all’ syndrome.

So London might still be my next destination, or it might not. I might choose to base my holiday around some art gallery featuring one or more of my favourite paintings, else go trekking in the rocky hills of Greece. The mountains with their inviting wooden cabins are an attraction I greatly consider and I’d feel at home even in the never-asleep New York.

So it is not a problem for me to be active, really, or to find interesting things anywhere in the world to try. My problem seems to stem instead from rowdiness, a hectic outlook or needing to comply to others’ tastes. So I guess I will be choosing my travel partner much more carefully than the destination after all.

Saturday, 8 September 2018

Product Alert - EAU THERMALE AVENE - Very High UV Protection Tinted Cream

Sun protection is something I often skip (yeah, my bad!) Either irritatingly thick and white, stubbornly refusing to permeate into the skin properly, else liquid to the point of causing me massive eye irritation as it slowly trickles into my itchy eyes at the first sign of the scorching sun, it has caused me more grief than peace of mind.

Rather than go without, I have at times resorted to using BB cream with a UV protection and moisturising properties, whilst also enjoying the fact that its tinted hue serves as a bit of a cover-up from blemishes and makes skin look smoother. However, beautiful though it looks, it will not replace the higher-factor real deal when it comes to protecting your skin.

I approached EAU THERMALE Avène asking for any products they might have to help keep my delicate skin safe, little knowing they had a miracle sun protection cream that would hit all my desired specifications.

With a smooth consistency that is neither runny nor too dense, a tint that covers up impurities whilst avoiding that white-washed look and the all-important high sun protection factor of 50+, this fabulous product is also good for dry and sensitive skin and eyes. What's not to love about EAU THERMALE Avène's product for some fun in the sun?