Saturday, 4 August 2018

One Month Later

So it's been a month since I moved home. I was back then full of expectations and looking forward to a new kind of life as I'd never lived totally away from any family before, first being a child and then getting married young before having had the chance to move out of mum's and test my waters, then back to mum's after the separation and with a kid in tow. Currently can't exactly say I am living 'alone' as flat-sharing but we all do our thing, no commitment to each other or anything, just three girls sharing a kitchen, bathroom, balcony and washing machine.

A month ago I told a close friend that I intended to write a book about this year. I still think about it sometimes. But realistically I do not have the time to write the book and also keep up my other writing commitments. I might have de-stressed a bit from my previous situation but I am still quite bewildered by life and trying to keep sane. In fact, the whole point that I thought this an experimental year worthy of a book is precisely because I still seem to be learning about life and being an adult as I go along. Some of you might say that no one ever knows everything about life and how to live, but I mean it literally that I need to learn how to live as an adult. Maybe that is one reason it is never a good idea to get married young. Cocooned in a one-of-two environment you can never discover yourself and your life projections and experience life as a person totally. Whilst it is true that I cannot turn back the clock and tell my younger self to get married later (or maybe not at all?) I can still start a new chapter, even a totally new book, right now in my life. So whether I do write it down to publish or not, the as-yet-unwritten book is there in my head, its narrative unfolding in the life that I am living in my day to day.

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