Sunday, 4 January 2015

Once Again It's Bedtime :-S

Something happened yesterday. Something I can't discuss on here but which nonetheless made me very aware of how lucky I am and of all the positive things around me. So I was all set to write a blog entry about gratitude today.

Unfortunately that mood was ruined by my son's usual disregard for his bedtime which resulted not only in making me very mentally tired but also using some not nice words (not swear words, I don't swear) in my mind of course, never in front of the kid! This whole thing just gets me down too much. One day it's an hour, another day it is two... my son can think up all the excuses under the sun when it comes to bedtime and even 'I am hungry' becomes a legitimate phrase in the mouth of a child that has never, not even as a baby, had any kind of interest in food!

I am afraid that despite my resolution not to shout, I could not keep my voice down as I reprimanded him over and over whilst he kept getting out of bed, ignoring my commands and being cheeky as a monkey. I do not, ever, remember about breathing in and out when I feel I am out of control of a situation. What did happen today though, was that the gratitude at my life's next-to-perfection (come on, I'm not talking about owning stuff, multiple yearly holidays and a huge house but life's gifts and the basics) made me keep calmer than I usually would be in such situations.

It did not however stop me telling my son the truth about how the dentist will eventually need to pull out his 'temporarily fixed' bad molars, which will now give him nightmares. But hopefully also serve to make him understand just why I get so frustrated when he decides he needs a snack after washing his teeth just because it is such a convenient excuse to come up with. Why I give in? Well, truth be told, I wasn't going to give in today. So I tested him and said if he wanted to eat then he'd jolly well eat the food that he left over at dinner, cold. I was almost certain he was faking it but oh my, he merely said yes and walked with me to the dining room, sat down and gulped it down. Then, wonder of wonders, after just a tiny bit of milk to wash it down, he got into bed and peacefully went into a deep slumber.

Why am I saying all this? Because I can't seem to win, that's why. And this is not about winning really, but about keeping my wits about me. Because honestly, if my son can truly need that nighttime snack the one time I refuse it him, then how am I ever going to be sure when to let him have his way and when he is just testing my patience whilst smirking about the fact that he is still awake? He is four years and eight months old and that is exactly how long it's been that I've started hating a bedtime routine.

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